Star Wars Characters

Gee oh Gee, what a surprise! The illogical conquistador has decided to grace the Express Yourself Freely Blog with yet another one of his shitty opinions. Conquistador, I knew Obi-Wan Kenobi was your man candy, but this crap takes it to a whole new level. To claim that Revan, not Lord Vader, is the greatest Darth in the Star Wars Galaxy. Has Disney corrupted your mind to the point where you can no longer have competent thoughts? Have you allowed yourself to become so brainwashed by the Disney media mob that you can no longer think for yourself?

I blame George Lucas. When he whored his franchise to Disney for what I assume is truckloads of cash, he sold out the Star Wars universe. What did you think was going to happen, George? Did you think Disney was going to pay you and then do whatever you wanted? Please! Now George is asking for creative control back; it’s too late for that, George. I guess getting rich off Lord Vader wasn’t good enough for George; you just had to go out and seek another big payday, now didn’t you?

The Star Wars Universe has forgotten why Star Wars exists. If Rey had been the main character in the first installment, George Lucas would’ve faded out with the seventies, and nobody would even know what the fuck Star Wars was. We’d all be stuck with nothing but Star Trek.

A few rumors about a potential Revan series and the conquistador is going on and on about how Revan is the greatest Darth in the Star Wars galaxy. Please! The conquistador even made a meme showing his facial expression when finding out Revan isn’t even an official part of Canon. I mean, this is your own fucking article, man.

So, let me hit you with some knowledge. Like Luke Skywalker, Revan doesn’t exist if Lord Darth Vader didn’t put the entire Star Wars galaxy, and George Lucas, on the fucking map. Rey doesn’t get the chance to be a shitty hero without Lord Vader, Not Emperor Palpatine, putting Star Wars on the map. And then Rey ends up being a Palpatine but says she’s a Skywalker.

The next smut that will come out of the conquistador’s mouth will probably talk about how Rey is the greatest Jedi ever. That’s how much Disney corrupts minds. Luke and Han are complete afterthoughts. Obi-Wan is a never was. And baby Yoda is now more popular among newcomers than the original Yoda. The biggest slap in the face is it’s not really even baby Yoda. Disney has done its best to erase everything that made Star Wars what it was, but the characters they came up with are so shitty they can’t even come up with their names.

Fuck off, conquistador, You Rey loving ass clown. Vader rules, and you know it!

This article was written in response to the article below:

Published by Matt Kaster

I like to think I'm living my everyday life inside a Will Ferrell movie. I'm a very sarcastic sort of goofball that tries to laugh at all the problems life has to offer...and then make funny videos about my head!! Subscribe now to witness some of my takes on everyday growth. I'll see you inside!

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