Izzy Stomps Paulo Costa at UFC 253

I had mixed feelings coming into UFC 253. I thought the Israel Runnersanya bit that Paulo Costa and his team came up with was great. Paulo Costa was talking all this smack, talking about how he was going to punch Izzy’s skinny ribs and overwhelm the champion with his powerful punches.

Adesanya’s last fight against Yoel Romero was very disappointing. Boring isn’t exactly the right word for that shit show of a title fight. Izzy claimed it was Romero’s fault for not engaging in the fight. It’s pretty bad when Dana White has to sell UFC 253 by saying that Costa will make Adesanya actually fight. And I’m not buying Izzy’s tactics of blaming the uneventful disaster on Romero. It takes two to tango, Runnersanya, and YOU also didn’t engage with Romero. Izzy basically said that the fight sucked because Romero didn’t fight the way Izzy wanted him to fight. LOL, sounds like a good strategy to me. But utilizing a good strategy doesn’t necessarily lead to an entertaining fight.

So, I literally had no clue what to expect in this fight. The only thing I was entirely sure of was I wanted to see Izzy’s blood. I wanted Costa to rip his head off; I can admit it. I just knew Israel Runnersanya was going to crumble as soon as Paulo Costa landed a single punch on his skinny ass.

The irony of this fight completely amazes me. Paulo Costa looks like a juiced-up Ricky Martin. Based on appearances alone, Adesanya is the last UFC fighter that should be suspected of using performance-enhancing drugs. Then, fight night comes, and it’s time for the skinny, flamboyant champion to make his walk to the octagon. So, Izzy makes the walk. It was impossible not to notice the deformity on the right side of his chest. Those familiar with guys that abuse steroids will all assume that this is gynecomastia, otherwise know as BITCH-TITS. Oh, the hilarity of it all. Ricky Martin isn’t the one sporting bitch tits on fight night; it’s skinny ass Runnersanya.

The fight was ultimately the opposite of what I expected. I’m pretty sure Ricky Martin didn’t even land a single shot. He basically walked into the center of the octagon, tried taunting Izzy, and got his ass knocked out for his troubles. What a sham, Costa. All that talk about how Izzy can’t compete and Costa shows up on fight night with zero strategy. What, did he think he’d intimidate Adesanya into forking the belt over? So how did all this end?

With Bitch Tits dry humping Ricky Martin after knocking him out. Then, the next day someone from Costa’s corner must’ve shown Paulo the footage; he was completely oblivious when it was happening… because he’d just gotten his ass kicked by bitch tits. So, what does Costa do next?

Demands a rematch and claims it will be different next time.

Sorry, Ricky Martin, MMA doesn’t exactly work that way. You just got your ass kicked by bitch tits. What will make it differently next time? It’s pretty evident that Ricky Martin doesn’t have the speed and precision to compete with bitch tits. It looked like an amateur fighting a professional in there. Paulo, you’re just going to have to swallow the anger you felt when you discovered that human garbage bitch tits actually dry humped you after kicking your ass. So, if so facto, there is nothing you can do about what bitch tits did. Time to go back to Livin’ La Vida Loca, Ricky.

Do you think Ricky Martin should get the rematch against bitch tits?

Let me know in the comments. Thank you!!

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Published by Matt Kaster

I like to think I'm living my everyday life inside a Will Ferrell movie. I'm a very sarcastic sort of goofball that tries to laugh at all the problems life has to offer...and then make funny videos about it...in my head!! Subscribe now to witness some of my takes on everyday growth. I'll see you inside!

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