7 Facts Fueling Anakin’s Fall to the Dark Side

A long time ago, in a galaxy that resides inside his head…

An Angry Star Wars Fan Theory…

Anakin Skywalker is the only Chosen One The Star Wars Universe knows. Specific individuals and circumstances led to the events which drove The Chosen One to The Dark Side. I’ve taken the liberty of listing seven reasons Anakin ultimately fell to the Dark Side, none of which were The Chosen One’s fault.

7) His age

Anakin was too old to begin Jedi training. It wasn’t his fault Qui-Gon showed up on his home planet and started talking about some Cult-Like Jedi Prophecy. When Anakin meets the Jedi council, Mace Windu says he’s too old and can’t be trained. Next. Master Yoda talks about how clouded his future is. So, my question is, what suddenly changes after Qui-Gon is struck down by Darth Maul? What’s the point of having a Jedi Council if it’s too blind to take its own advice? The FACT that the council denied Qui-Gon’s request to train the Chosen One. Then proceeded to allow his massively unqualified green Padawan (Kenobi) to train Anakin, after the Darth Maul incident, showed complete negligence and a total disregard of its own rules. It also makes no sense whatsoever. This absolute shit show that is the Jedi Council drove Anakin to the Dark Side and are entirely to blame for all of the Chosen One’s failures.

6) Shmi Skywalker

Anakin’s mother let the Jedi abduct him from her, which probably did wonders for his self-confidence. Not! The seed for his ultimate fall to the Dark Side was planted the moment Qui-Gon ripped a young Anakin Skywalker from his Shmi’s all too willing arms. The Chosen One would spend the rest of his mother’s days fearing her inevitable death. Fear is a sure path to the Dark Side! The selfish bitch that conceived a bastard Anakin Skywalker out of thin air gave up on her only son after attempting to raise him for nine years. Leaving the Chosen One with no parents whatsoever. Shmi Skywalker never loved the son that worshipped the ground she walked on. What an absolute Cunt!! 

5) Mixed Signals from Padme

Anakin developed what seemed to be a harmless crush on Padme when he was an impressionable nine-year-old boy. A few years passed, and Anakin became romantically involved with Padme. The Chosen One began having nightmares about losing his mother. When those nightmares became a horrific reality, Anakin snapped and slaughtered the sand people he knew were to blame. Anakin was truthful with Padme about what he’d done. The fact that she stood by his side provided fuel for Anakin’s inner Dark Side, confirming to his enormous ego that the woman he’d loved since childhood condoned murder as long as it was for the cause of The Chosen One. What a selfish bitch!!

4) Faulty Training 

The Jedi failed Anakin every step of the way. It’s been established that he was too old to become a Jedi Padawan. On top of that, they allowed an inexperienced Padawan that was CLEARLY full of himself train The Chosen One. Think about it, if the Jedi truly wanted Anakin to fulfill his maximum potential, they would have let the great Yoda teach him. And what about Mace Windu? -Complete sabotage from the start! The entire Jedi Council was jealous from the moment Qui-Gon brought Anakin in front of them. They couldn’t stand the thought of Anakin Skywalker’s legacy becoming more magnificent than their own. They knew Obi-Wan would fail miserably as Anakin’s Jedi instructor, and they set the Chosen One up to fail. Shame on them. Shame on all the Jedi Bastards!!

3) Mace had no Faith

Master Yoda didn’t see Palpatine for what he was. Mace Windu was unable to identify the eventual evilest Sith Lord the galaxy would ever know after conversing with Palpatine -in person- on numerous occasions. It was Anakin Skywalker, The Chosen One himself, that discovered who Chancellor Palpatine really was. And what did he do? Anakin went and found the only member of the Jedi Council he could find at the moment, a supremely jealous Mace Windu, and explained how he’d discovered who the Phantom Sith Lord was. So what did Mace Windu do? He DICKSLAPPED Anakin in the face by telling him to stay back. Windu further insulted the Chosen One by saying that if he discovered these claims to be accurate, Anakin would’ve gained his trust. So, why the fuck didn’t Mace Windu trust Anakin? My guess is it’s the same reason Anakin was denied the title of Jedi Master; Mace Windu’s jealousy! -Proof that Windu was trying to hold Anakin back. Mace Windu wanted to claim all the glory for himself, and his actions proved to Anakin that the Jedi were nothing but a bunch of selfish, self-serving bastards. What an absolute joke and abuse of power. 

2) The Ultimate Betrayal

The snake in the grass that is Obi-Wan Kenobi used Anakin Skywalker to springboard himself onto the Jedi Council. Once Obi-Wan became a Jedi Master, he looked to belittle and discredit his padawan, Anakin Skywalker. Not only was Kenobi jealous of Anakin’s Force abilities and Lightsaber Skills, but he also wanted Padme for himself. Obi-Wan was happy to seek out Padme behind his so-called friends back and inform her that Anakin had “fallen” to the Dark Side. It gets worse. After planting these negative ideas in Padme’s head, Obi-Wan bided his time and waited to confront Anakin. The slithery Kenobi only showed his face after Anakin had entered into a highly emotional conversation with his wife. The cowardly Kenobi drew his saber while The Chosen One’s back was turned and lept directly into an attack. Kenobi was a miserable failure as a teacher and an even worse failure as a friend. Which is enough to drive anybody to the Dark Side. 

1) Close Friendship with Palpatine

Yoda, Mace Windu, and Obi-Wan all failed at building a trusting relationship with Anakin, which left the door wide open for Palpatine to get his hooks dug in real deep. Sheev Palpatine took full advantage of the utter disrespect the Jedi displayed towards the Chosen One for years upon years. While Yoda and Mace Windu were doing a tremendous job of pointing out Anakin’s flaws, Palpatine tickled the Chosen One’s balls the entire time. Anakin’s seduction to the Dark Side was sealed with a promise that the woman he loved could be saved by using the full Power of The Dark Side of The Force. A promise that Palpatine would’ve never been able to make had Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, or one of the other members of the pathetic Jedi Cult been able to identify this Sith before he gained absolute power over the galaxy. 

So there you have it. Concrete evidence that Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the Dark Side was basically everybody’s fault except Anakin Skywalker’s. The Chosen One has no flaws!

Thank you for reading!

More Angry Star Wars Fan below!!

The Pack Pick: Philadelphia

Hello everyone and welcome to the Pack Pick. As the Packers keep piling up wins and rolling along, we’ll continue analyzing the upcoming games for the Green and Gold. Green Bay had one of it’s more impressive victories over Chicago. They committed to the running game and married it with an efficient passing game againstContinue reading “The Pack Pick: Philadelphia”

Packers crush bears

All week I was forced to listen to how ferocious the Chicago Bears defense is. It was quite refreshing to watch the Packers take the opening drive down the field for a touchdown. Aaron Jones busted multiple runs right up the middle of that Bear defense. It was only momentarily satisfying because as soon asContinue reading “Packers crush bears”

Rest In Peace

Hello everyone and welcome to a somber Star Wars Monday. We will be deviating from the original topic and instead offer our remembrance for David Prowse, the man behind the mask of Darth Vader. Prowse was a body builder early in his life. Prowse then got into show business, even helping train Christopher Reeve forContinue reading “Rest In Peace”

Published by Matt Kaster

I like to think I'm living my everyday life inside a Will Ferrell movie. I'm a very sarcastic sort of goofball that tries to laugh at all the problems life has to offer...and then make funny videos about it...in my head!! Subscribe now to witness some of my takes on everyday growth. I'll see you inside!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: