Vader Time!!

Not that long ago, in a galaxy that resides inside his head…

An Angry Star Wars Fan Theory…

Darth Vader’s Top 5 quotes from The Classic Star Wars Trilogy

5) “When I left you, I was the learner. Now, I am the master.” (A New Hope)

Imagine being taken from your mother as a small child. Next, imagine the people who took you from her try and make you feel bad about missing her. Finally, imagine the man that is supposed to be your teacher betray you by drawing his saber on you while your back is turned. Obi-Wan betrayed a young Anakin Skywalker, and it was up to Darth Vader to get some vengeance. Lord Vader says this just before he strikes a feeble old Obi-Wan down. This comes years after Ob-Wan just left his pupil and so-called best friend to die on Mustafar. This quote gives us a glimpse into the very complex past between these two iconic characters. Of course, after the ugly scene on Mustafar Vader became the most feared Sith Lord in the entire galaxy. While a disgraced Obi-Wan was hiding behind a false name on Tattoine… not even attempting to train Luke… or restore the Jedi Order is any way whatsoever. Vader Rules!!

4) “There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you… Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.” (The Empire Strikes Back)

Oh, what could have been. The biggest thing that sticks out about this quote is how supportive Lord Vader would’ve been as a teacher. He’s offering to complete his son’s training and explaining to him the unlimited potential he has. All positive things. Yoda showed zero interest in training a young Luke Skywalker. Yoda then attempted to belittle Luke by explaining to the young lad all the ways he may fail. Yoda paints a pretty dark picture. It’s the same grim picture he and the Jedi Council painted for a young Anakin Skywalker. Yoda and the Jedi never entirely accepted Anakin as a Jedi. They found as many ways as possible to hold him back and keep him from his true destiny. And when the going got tough, they outright turned their backs on the Chosen One. With this quote, Vader gives his son a greater lesson than Obi-Wan or Yoda ever did. Anakin Skywalker was a greater Jedi than Obi-Wan, or Yoda could have ever possibly dreamed of being. And these disgraced Jedi used that jealousy to poison the mind of The Chosen One’s only son. A little positive encouragement goes a long way. Vader Rules!!

3) I am altering the deal. Pray, I don’t alter it any further.” (The Empire Strikes Back)

Vader does what Vader wants. This quote shows off the sheer dominance Vader rules the galaxy with. Lando Calrissian obviously didn’t review the deal he made with Vader thoroughly enough. Lando was so quick to turn Han over, he never took the time to ask what would become of Chewie and Princess Leia. It’s easy to watch this scene and see Vader as the bad guy. But, Han Solo owed Jabba the Hutt all kinds of money. When Han continued to run, he put the entire rebel alliance in jeopardy. Darth Vader was doing the whole galaxy a favor by bringing the criminal Han Solo to justice. If Han had simply cleared his debts with Jabba, he could have avoided putting his friends in danger. Princess Leia shares an equal portion of the blame. Han explains to her that he must go pay Jabba, or there will be trouble. But she guilts him out of it every time by saying he’s needed by the rebel alliance. I can’t help but chuckle every time I hear Vader alter the deal. The Jedi will act like your friend and screw you over behind your back. This quote illustrates why I prefer the Sith over the Jedi. At least you know where you stand with the Sith. Vader isn’t trying to be anybody’s friend. The entire galaxy knows he can’t be trusted. The unpredictability makes it great. Vader Rules!!

2) “So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was right to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, then perhaps she will!” (Return of the Jedi)

Darth Vader gives his son another lesson. I know most people fall for the ruse of the Jedi being good. Those same people believe that Darth Vader is evil. It’s not their fault. Obi-Wan is the one that lied to the kids and let everyone down. Allow me to clear up any confusion you may have. Darth Vader isn’t trying to recruit Luke to the Dark Side. Instead, the Dark Lord is teaching his son to keep his feelings hidden. Vader does this because his own feelings are what got him in trouble in the first place. This quote symbolizes the life advice Vader is instilling in his son. The deeper meaning is that Lord Vader is telling Luke he should never take a wife -he knows Luke will become far more powerful if he remains single and focuses on the task at hand. Those who have seen the movie, Rocky, remember that women weaken legs. Princess Leia already has Luke all mixed up here. Luke comes totally unglued when Vader makes a tiny little threat towards a sister he’d recently discovered he had. Imagine how angry Luke would get if he fell in love with a woman and began having a sexual relationship with her. Vader doesn’t have to imagine. The Dark Lord of the Sith sees all through The Force and knows Luke can’t handle having a wife. Father knows best. Vader Rules!!

1) “If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” -Darth Vader

“He told me enough. He told me you killed him.” -Luke Skywalker

“NO, I am your father.” -Darth Vader (The Empire Strikes Back)

The lies are finally exposed. Yoda and Obi-Wan did Luke Skywalker zero favors by lying to him about his father’s identity right off the bat. In fact, these clowns left the door open for Disney to completely destroy the legacy of Luke Skywalker. I love how Yoda tries holding Anakin and Luke to such high standards. Yoda expects Luke to become a great Jedi warrior, but Obi-Wan tells an outright lie to Luke by saying Vader killed Anakin Skywalker. Yoda proceeds to hide Vader’s identity from Luke. It’s laughable that these clowns think lying is a way to instill trust into a Jedi Padawan. I love this quote because it exposes the Jedi for what they really are: a bunch of lying cowards trying to advance a political agenda instead of keeping the galaxy safe from the Sith. Darth Vader never lies to Luke. Vader comes out and tells Luke that he’s his father. Vader tries encouraging Luke by telling him how great he could become. Vader gives Luke advice by showing him that his feelings can be used against him. Darth Vader is an honest father that encourages his son to be all he can be. Which is much more than the lying Jedi scoundrels ever did. Vader Rules!!

Published by Matt Kaster

I like to think I'm living my everyday life inside a Will Ferrell movie. I'm a very sarcastic sort of goofball that tries to laugh at all the problems life has to offer...and then make funny videos about my head!! Subscribe now to witness some of my takes on everyday growth. I'll see you inside!

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